Carpe Diem!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Raising a new generation of the refined gene pool.

I must first make it clear that I am all for the Mixed Breed. There are pretty good reasons why.
Not many of us are multilingual are we? Or did you all visit grandparents living in the extremes of the country during summer vacations? Well, If you’re a child with parents from different cultures you should feel blessed rather than confused.
Here are some winning combinations. And why they take the prize.

Combination: Bengali + Marwari
This combination works well because: There will always be a variety on the dinner table. On days you want to eat some bhaal machi look no further than your own dining table. Your dad loves to cook (when he’s not philosophising). Your education fund will be right there in place when you’re 18. Primarily because your mother will save each penny since ties the knot with your father. Otherwise, he probably would’ve spent it all on a fine Sunday morning, ordering another ‘Raam and coke’, while the debate went on. He’d have spent it, if he knew about that secret saving account your mother has.
Your summer vacations are be colourful. Mainly because you will have grandparents who are complete opposites. While one set educates you on the importance of fasting for teej, you can go to the other, and enjoy crispy fried fish while the Poojo goes on. That’s fun.

Combination: Mizo + Sardar
This combination works well because: You will not fail to amuse the world. Ever. Because sometimes you will talk in a hyper-nasal tone and just when your audience is confused, you’ll pat them on the back, real hard and laugh out loud (Chal, koi nai). Real loud. So, naturally you may be the laughing stock. But at least your hair will always be the best in class.
All your friends will look for excuses to drop-by for notes or just to say ‘hi’ cause they’re probably passing by. Be careful, it’ll always be around lunch-time or dinner-time (sometimes, even at breakfast). Get the point dummy, it’s not for your notes they want, it’s the food on your dining table. The Tandoori meets Thupka. Finger licking fatness plus healthy bland broths. Another obvious reason could be tips for that perfect hair. Always keep your suggestions ready.

Combination: Tamilian Brahmin + Rajput
This combination works well because: So, you could grow up and become a Journo or just remain jobless and live off your ancestors. There’s one side that will have ambitions- fluffy as Idlis, waiting for you before you exit your mother’s womb. While the other side of your fam, will be drinking in merriment on their way back home, lugging a fat Black Buck. You will be torn between two world, even before the onset of adolescence. Over-ambitiousness vs baap-dada ki Jayezaat. Lungi vs Cravat. Dosai vs Lal maas. Your life is speckled with adventure. And so shall it be.

Combination: Malayalee + Kashmiri
This combination works well because:
Anyone would know that it is best to pair a Mallu with anyone but a Mallu. Mainly because they don’t make XXXXL seats for vehicles yet.
Well, moving on, this combination is good because it combines beauty and brains. Of course, you’ll go wrong with the food on the menu with all those cashews absurdly stuck in your Karimeen. But then you’ll be so pretty that all else will be forgotten.
You can immerse yourself in the news while it is being created right there, in your backyard. You, the master of tough languages, you are lucky to have your foothold in the extremes of the country. Care to invite the others for a summer vacation??
posted by phantasmagoria at 1:47 AM


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