Carpe Diem!

Friday, May 15, 2009


Ever remember writing an essay about them in school? Well, if you do, then shut up. Because I don’t care and I don’t remember. I’ve tried to understand why and have concluded that it’s mainly because I find them pretty insignificant as beings (for those who’re wondering why we’re talking about them, it’s because I want to reinforce their insignificance).
Firstly, I don’t understand their reasons for all that arrogance. They’re evidently not in the league of the Big Cats. Imagine there’s a grand feast in the cat universe. Now, where do you think the pussy cats will be seated. Of course they will be the ones serving. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not being prejudiced here; all I’m saying is that in comparison they’re so miniscule. And are likely to be relished at the table by those they’re serving.
No matter how hard they try, they do not have the class/ panache or the charisma to be like their victorious predecessors. Cats are uselessly walking around our land, pretending to own it. I think they should be kicked out or gobbled up by the Big Cats.

Remember those people who flash their expensive cell phones while they’re inhaling second-hand-chauffeur-breath in their Mercedes. Well, the point is that they really do have a cell phone to flash. What on earth do the cats think they have. What? I asked one of them. It didn’t have an answer. Simply looked away and walked, shaking that silly little rump. How convincing is that!

I once read somewhere (and totally second that profound statement) “Who would’ve thought that behind those luminous eyes there is no soul.” On observation you will see that Cat’s really do have eyes that to some people may come across as mesmerizing. So, here’s a point to ponder over. Centuries ago, Eve was mesmerized by the serpent to eat and apple and we still bear the repercussions of that.

Some fool said and believed, that Cat’s have seven lives. Imagine living a pointless existence once and then multiplying that by 7. Bad theory. In my opinion they don’t deserve even the one they have.

God, please bless the land where people relish Cat’s for dinner. Or lunch, supper, breakkie, tea… you get the drift.
Anyhow it’s been too much time writing about Cats. So without wasting a sec…….

ps: i HAD to write this. I think i beat a world-wide record by writing about Cats (the most unimportant, neglect able and hopefully for some people, delectable animal).
posted by phantasmagoria at 5:37 AM


WOW! A-fucking-mazing! Brilliantly written! You should get a job writing.. Oh wait.

Also, most people say they have nine lives.

Fuck, I wish I could write as well as you. (At least this post.)

12:27 PM  

I sooooooo agree with Arnold!!! Its one of the most genuinely humorous piece i hav read since long...It reads like a wonderful piece of satire...m super impressed dude...Awesome!
PS: I hate cats too!

12:55 AM  

nice nice

i like!

(and yes...cats have 9 lives....not 7)


i also second payal (who seconded is that me 'thirding' arnold???)

1:22 AM  

Thank you, everybody.

10:01 PM  

FOOL- how well do you know CATS?!?

Nice snippet- but needs some more research!!
Don’t hate them without knowing them…

11:42 PM  

I can read this article over and over.Beautifully written.Bravo!! I hate Cats already...

by the way Cats have nine lives.And you conveniently ignored what cats mean to the Chinese :)

2:58 AM  

i didn't bother to find out. you can educate please. =) curious (not in a cat like way though) =)

3:08 AM  

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