Carpe Diem!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

the ghost of mathematics...

When I was younger, I was really bad at math. Well, now, many years later, nothing has changed.

I would learn equations (quadratic and linear) and understood geometry a bit so banked on that to pass my exams. Scored 32 on 100 in my 10th boards and I know for sure I got grace marks for good handwriting and the double lines I drew after each sum. I remember how i used to open my notebook and mug up theorems etc.etc... hoping that i get asked the same qestions in my exams.

After 10th I was glad that I could nicely do away with math as a subject. But it never really leaves one, does it?

Everytime I buy something, I’ve to calculate. If it’s a big amount, I just pretend to count and then nicely smile (which is mistaken for confidence) and keep the change in my wallet.

Guess when you’re bad at math, giving a smile works best.
posted by phantasmagoria at 12:49 AM 4 comments

Monday, December 18, 2006

you've just been tagged!!!

Okay…Diana has tagged me and that means I’ve to spill out certain things about myself that not many people know about me….

So here goes…

1) I’m a terrible public speaker… I clearly remember once in school I had to read my essay that my English teacher had LOVED and since she thought it’s really well written she wanted me to read it out to the class and I made the lamest excuses to get out of that situation…well that never happened…. And as I read it my legs shivered, my ears went red and my palms were sweating. I did a repeat of that one in college, when we had to talk for 3 minutes in front of the whole class about our passion. I got so nervous that I forgot everything that I would otherwise say!!!

2) I mumble and giggle in my sleep sometimes…(and sometimes I talk clearly too…) I once even shook hands with my friend in my sleep and once I put my hand up in the air as though shaking it with someone… and when my friend asked me what I was doing I said “I’m shaking hands with the black man!!”

That one freaked me out as well…. But trust me it’s nothing serious… tell me you won’t stop talking to me after reading this!! Please.

3) I once laughed so bad that I pissed in my pants… okay… confession time… that has happen more than once… okay…just for clarification….that happens mostly when I get once of my ‘laughing fits’, not otherwise so much.

4) I’ve got two stuffed dogs… and their names are Pashu Pati and Prem Prakash. They’re both twins and are Dalmatians.

5) I once forged my mothers signature for my report card cause I flunked in my math exam and I was scared to show it to mum… she obviously found out later and was really mad at me. I did that a lot of times without her finding out for my unti tests though! (So full marks for that one atleast!)

Okay…people…. I tag everyone who reads this….post..
There is no way I’ll ever know who all did go through this one...but big fuck… everyone, this is confession time… lets get started!
posted by phantasmagoria at 5:37 AM 2 comments

Thursday, December 14, 2006

while she brushed her teeth...

Did you look in the mirror this morning
You sure you saw you?
Or was there a person trying hard
To fit inside your pretty shoes?

She entered the bathroom
And began to brush her teeth
In her head there was a song
Without a rhythm or a beat

She took a cold shower
and put on some bright clothes
aware that running will reach her faster
to the train’s she so loathed

she was breathing too fast
confused bout where to go
almost out of breath now
but still so unsure

then it struck her real hard
that she doesn’t really know
where exactly she’s running to
and where she was to go

so she stopped right there
and realized that now’s the time
to unpack her bags, sing out loud
She knew now she must unwind!
posted by phantasmagoria at 4:58 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

about a girl

A really brave girl with a timid soul…
Just too much of a child but still getting old.
So full of contradictions
So unsure…
Too aggressive but still scared of gore.

I know you’re searching for the real me
But I’m so full of contradictions…
Why can’t you see?

I know I get excited
I know I always count…
But they’re only chickens
You don’t have to frown

It’s ok if I fool myself
Cause that’s what everyone is
Even if we don’t know it
That’s what we really are

From where we are right now in life…
Sensibility is way too far
posted by phantasmagoria at 6:57 AM 0 comments

Friday, December 01, 2006

a drunk man who know one knows...would've bled himself to death.

What would you do if you see a drunk @#$%^& on the road bleeding himself to death...lying unconscious there...with people walking past through him??

1) Would you just pass by and pretend that you didn’t see…
2) Run fast before anyone notices you around, and thinks that you are not compassionate enough.
3) Or would you (Actually) go to the hospital and urge the lackadaisical staff to help you get him help.

Well, just two days ago me and a friend were walking to the station after work, at around 10 : 45 and we saw this guy who was lying on the pavement, sozzled out of his wits…and was bleeding so bad tht we thought he’d die if we left him there.

So we went to the hospital close by (Nair hospital at Bombay central) and searched for the casualty ward.

We wanted to get some help to help that guy. The casualty was at the extreme end on the hospital compound (I’m not sure why…but maybe they like giving people a bit of an exercise before they actually come there during emergency situations!)

So, we reach there and break our heads over trying to tell those guys in the hospital office to get their Asses moving before the man dies. What surprised me was the lack of interest and the ‘not understanding the gravity of the situation’ bit. (maybe it’s a common thing for them, but it was new to us!)

Finally the man at the desk told a cop about it and the guy made a call to the nearest cop station and asked for assistance. Convinced we walked hurriedly to the same road and stood there.. and stood there and …stood there some more… and before we knew, it was 11:30 ish….

In my head I wasn’t THAT sure if anyone will come there also…but this is one of those times when you want to prove yourself wrong…
So we made a couple of calls to the cop station and told them we’re waiting and asked why they’re still not there and within some mins after that, we saw a cop van parked near the man. There was a huge gathering there…or passer-by’s who were there for the show. (no one had stopped before they threw any lights on the wounded man.)

And when my head was hurting and my stomach was churning and I was feeling all nauseated by just looking at the cops putting the ‘wounded guy’ on the stretcher and into the van…someone passed by and asked “mar gaya kya?” and In my mind I wanted to slap the hell out of that guy for talking like that…for being so uncouth and for his lack of respect for soemones life…but I think I didn’t say anything except for an angry NO. (and I know if it was someone I know, I would’ve verbally beaten the guy into pulp for asking).

So finally the deed was done…he was taken to where he belonged. Our faith in the Mumbai Police restored. I remember telling my friend with a smile (mins after this..) “Mumbai cops are second to the Scotland Yard…. And even though it’s with reference to the intelligence, I just felt like praising them for what they’d done.

As we sat in the train, our minds were flooded with loads of questions. We asked ourselves if we’d still do what we did if we were just by ourselves. Would we have the strength and the courage to do all run around and to wait at that hour without knowing for sure someone will come to help…when everyone else was least bothered, would we still have that same compassion or the strength to help someone you don’t really know…

I think if we hadn’t done THAT we’d not have slept peacefully at night. Im sure I’d lie awake thinking how we let him bleed to death. It would raise a lot of questions and those questions would make me uneasy.

Btw talking about uneasy…there is this strange odour in hospitals that makes me really queasy and also brings loads of memories that aren’t very pleasant….

Btw that’s for another time…cause I need to take a break from all this heavy stuff…
posted by phantasmagoria at 2:37 AM 0 comments